There is a daily battle that goes on in our home where everything runs fairly smoothly (well most of the time, anyway) up until we have to put our shoes on and leave the house.

At this point – as I’m sure many of you will be able to guess – we hit a bit of a brick wall. ‘Listening ears’ are nowhere to be found. Everyone seems to be invested in anything other than leaving the house.

Stepping over the threshold into the outside world becomes the most difficult thing in the world.

There may be tears, there may be tantrums (and that’s just me).

But I recently came across a social media post which alerted me to the fact that it’s probably not just me who’s dealing with this daily battle where emotions run high as you’re about to step out of the door.

And actually, there’s a physiological reason why this happens.

In a post on Instagram, Dr Jazmine McCoy, known as The Mom Psychologist, said: “The gag is mornings are literally designed by biology to be challenging. Your child’s cortisol (stress hormone) naturally peaks 30-45 minutes after waking, creating the perfect storm of sensitivity and inflexibility.”

While my youngest wakes up at the crack of dawn (babies, eh!), my eldest typically wakes up around 7am and we have to leave the house by 7.40am, putting this at that precise window when her stress hormone is soaring.

But it turns out she is not being defiant. She is simply… stressed.

Usually we are in a rush and I’m therefore not the calm, zen parent I strive to be. Cue: an eruption of chaos.

According to Dr McCoy, the most important thing you can do is to “build in connection before direction, especially during this sensitive window”.

Basically, before you begin the ordeal of putting shoes and coats on, you might want to try connecting with them – she recommended carving out around 10 minutes, if possible.

This could be a chat over breakfast or possibly 10 minutes of play and fun while you’re getting ready.

McCoy also advises parents to wake up 15 minutes before their children (so your cortisol levels aren’t peaking around the same time) and to prepare bags, clothes and possibly even breakfast the night before to take the pressure off.

Lastly, she recommended giving children “at least an hour” to complete the morning routine.

According to Handspring Health, establishing a consistent morning routine can help children first thing as they then know exactly what to expect, which is less anxiety-inducing for everyone.

Ensuring they get enough sleep is also important, as is enabling them to gradually wake up.

The health experts also recommend starting the day with positive interactions and events, “such as a few minutes of conversation, creative time, and a healthy breakfast”.

Here’s to a less chaotic AM routine for us all.